Pisces Paradox

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Anonymous wrote: "i was the one who asked about the pisces with ascendant in scorpio and rising in sagitarius , my bf is a virgo with ascendant in scorpio and rising in sagitarius, he opened up to me from the beginning and it's easy for for him to cry in front of me , to be himself but when it comes to me to open up its terrible, i've been hurt in the past and i don't want to show my weakness i can't stand the feeling of having to loose someone again, i dont know what to do about myself...."

Okay, so, I feel as though I really ought to say something to you. Have you ever heard of a self-fulling prophecy? I mean, you probably have somewhere, but, have you ever explored what it really means? In depth? 

Let me explain, you’re worried and scared about losing someone again, and since you don’t know what to do with yourself, I’m personally willing to bet you’re going to retreat within yourself and remain unwilling to open up and show your “vulnerable side.” Your “weaknesses,” as you put them. But if you’re not opening up to your partner, this could just as easily push your partner away. 

Now, that’s probably not what you want to hear. But, now, back to the whole self-fulling prophecy bit. If you stay closed up, with the mindset of “I can’t show my weaknesses, I can’t be hurt again,” and continue like that, it’s very possible your boyfriend might dislike that. I mean, I obviously don’t know him— but if he’s opening up to you, and showing you his emotional side, and you’re closed off… that to me speaks to different styles of communication, and he might feel as though he’s not getting enough emotional satisfaction from you. 

Now, I’m just worried he could leave because of that. And you’d lose him because of that. And you “can’t stand the feeling of having to lose someone again,"— but in a self-fulling prophecy, you’d be back, blaming it on "your weaknesses” or something you did that reflects on an old behavior. 

I’m trying to get you to look at this new behavior, of not opening up. 

I’m not trying to make it seem like either way you choose is a bad decision.  I think if I were in your shoes, and I heard that, I’d be like, “Great. So either way, if I hide myself or show myself, I’m screwed.” No. No no no. I’m trying to get you to see there are possible pros and cons to both behaviors, and it varies with the individual. In the past, maybe you did value someone who didn’t like being exposed to the Piscean, watery, emotional behavior. But that doesn’t mean you have to shut it off. It means they weren’t the right person for you. 

You say you don’t know what to do with yourself, and I say try your best to be yourself, as you would naturally, in nature, had you not been initially hurt. Now, I know that’s… like, “What? How can I possibly do that? I can’t just toss that away and pretend like it never happened.” I know. But, your boyfriend wasn’t the one who hurt you, was he? Give him a chance to see a little bit of you opening up. It doesn’t have to be huge— talk about little, trivial things at first that might secretly have a larger meaning to you. Like, I dunno, maybe the way you interpret a song. Start with little things. You can do it, c: It’ll be tough and uncomfortable at first. But if you two are truly a good match, you’ll be fine.